I know I missed the past few days of updates and posts. Due to very poor internet service and very long tiring work days in Panama, I was not able to post as regularly as I would have liked while actually on our mission trip to Panama. Once I was home, I just wanted to rest and relax and then of course, the reality of work hit once again. So now here I am, my first day off after being home and back to "normal".
First of all, I would like to state that this trip had an amazing wrap up for a very big need for thousands of you girls in Panama. We went there to work on a project to fulfill the vision and what was put on the hearts of Gerrit and Taran. They have a huge project and they are getting there. There are so many girls that need to hear the Gospel and the love of Jesus and the forgiveness of sins and the simple fact that they matter, they are important. It is very true that this is a problem world wide but Panama is the Country and Panama City is the city that God put Gerrit and Taran in to fulfill this mission.
From the very first day, this trip was exhausting. We were up from sunrise to well after sundown doing so many things. We went to the schools (which was the most amazing part for me personally) where we were able to reach out and interact with the children. We were able to spread the Gospel and pray publicly with anyone and everyone that had a need for prayer. Sure there was a language barrier between individuals, but there is never a language barrier between two hearts seeking the Lord or his answers.
At night, back at the hotel, there would be tedious tasks that would have to be done. Sure there was some grumbling but everyone put in great effort. We often overlook the small stuff that it takes to complete a large event, especially if you are not in the thick of things. We cut material, we cut paper, we set up tables and chairs, we packed boxes. You name it, we were doing it. Now I get that sometimes this type of work can feel like you aren't working for God, or that it isn't something you would expect on a mission trip, but it was all needed so that the big event to come to fruition.
I will be the first to admit, I was not expecting this type of trip. I am not even sure what I was expecting. I did not always have the servants heart that I should have had at all times and I was even one to express my disconnect with the trip. Maybe I was seeking that "God High" that I have felt on past mission trips. Maybe I was there for the wrong reasons and that may be why I never experienced something special. What I have realized though, is that God still used me. I still served, I was there as part of something larger than myself.
Over 2800 girls came to the finale, a girls conference at a large convention center. These young ladies were treated as someone special during these hours. They were able to get their nails polished, their hair done, work on some arts and crafts, have their own personal notebooks and most of all, Hear the Love of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Once I wrapped my head around everything, stood back and re summarized this whole trip, I realize I did have my part and my purpose in this trip. I was there for the other members of our team as well as helping the larger team as a whole and the young girls in Panama. I did make a few personal connections with some girls at the schools and that is what this is about. This trip isn't about me, it is about God and the work he wants us to perform for him. He doesn't promise that we will always feel good or that we will always be fulfilled by what he asks of us. He does promise to always fulfill his promises though. And showing the love and forgiveness of Christ as well as the simple fact that we have value, are part of his promises. What we did in Panama, is show those young girls, just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the promises of God. So I will choose to remember this, every time I am seeking a "God High" instead of a "servants heart".
Although, Panama is not my mission field, I now am glad I was part of someone else's vision. My personal vision and where I believe God put my heart is in Guatemala, but that does not prevent me from being used where ever I am sent. My time will come where I will ask others to help fulfill my vision and what God has put on my heart. I can only pray, that when that time comes, it will be as successful. That servants will be there and serve, regardless of their personal feelings at the time.